Sex, Love, Illusion or Something Like That

Abram is a young man who has setup his own business. He has employed 7 other people – 3 ladies and 4 gentlemen. Adam one of the gentlemen who is an accountant has managed the firm so well so that for the last 3 years Abram (CEO) made some considerable gains he never expected. The last time Abram fell sick and remained incapacitated for 2 weeks Adam had to close from work to help the latter whose pregnant wife was overseas. He cooked and cleaned His boss’ home, helped with laundry before returning home. Is it wrong for Abram to love this youngman Adam for showing such brotherly care without expecting results? Can this love for another man who has been so supportive to both husband and wife be termed as a gay relationship? Didn’t David love Jonathan in a similar way – I Sam 18:1? (Guess for yourself)

Abel and Aku are co-workers in an IT firm. Whereas Aku is married, Abel is still a bachelor. The dexterity with which Aku accomplishes assignments on her desk makes a beacon to behold. However, she admits that she couldn’t have done that without the support and tuition of Abel.  Can’t Aku love Abel without the 2 engaging in sex? Or does it mean that when Aku says she loves him then automatically she loves her husband less? In reading the Acts of the Apostles we come across Priscilla who was married to Aquila but showed some love for Paul- Acts 18:1-3.

How do we describe that virtue between some siblings who are ever ready to accomplish assignments for each other without demands? Do these twins and siblings practice incest in living this virtue?

To live is to love, unfortunately, love has been misconstrued and also given a myopic interpretation. Many others have also taken undue advantage over those who tried to exhibit this great virtue towards them.

This example of Kwasi and Akosua who grew up in the same locality – Fankyenebra is worth emphasising. They were both in different schools and different churches. But each one has been around to support the other whenever there are social as well as religious programs that both families had to celebrate. They don’t intend to marry. What exist between them is something beyond description. How do you categorise this relationship if it isn’t love?


When a couple  ( legally married) give themselves to each other they make love. It goes beyond sex. It’s love that brings them together and leads them to give themselves to each other devoid of shame. This act of love making is the only one sanctified and approved by God. ( Don’t be deceived, this is the truth!)

ILLUSIONS: (trying to think you in love, you are loved or you will be loved!) What are some of these illusions?

1. Sex between 2 people but not with their legally married spouses.

2. Sex between someone who has taken a vow  ( Catholic priest, religious), or a young unmarried person WITH a married person – male or female.

These are illusions because a time will come when one of them will decide to quit for one of the ff reasons:

1. The religious after serious reflection, counselling and prayers realises that he/she has broken a vow made to God and is on the way to destruction and separation from God.

2. When the married person realises that his/her vow on marriage day wasn’t with this person he/she now shares the bed with.

3. When the unmarried one gets a suitor with whom a better and stable future is assured unlike the current situation.

4. After a Damascus experience- but many people living this life will never avail themselves for healing & deliverance. They presume that healing & deliverance is reserved for the possessed or the sick alone.

At this juncture some characteristics of LOVE will help us appreciate what the Creator meant for us and intends it to be.

1. Love is meant to last ( God doesn’t love partially, HIS love doesn’t end)  – In I Cor 13:8,13, St Paul stresses this, however, sex between 2 people who are unmarried lacks this permanency.

Either they remain in this obstinacy, grave sin that separates them from God or keep that sexual relationship in secrecy enduring unnecessary pain, guilt and shame.

2. LOVE is transparent- True love doesn’t happen in the cover of darkness. That is why marriages  are celebrated during the day and not in the evenings or at night ( the constitution of Ghana gives 8am-5pm as hours in which marriage can be celebrated).

We all can attest to the joy of a bride and groom who have nothing to hide or fear as they solemnise their marriage. The relaxed ambience is a toast of all who genuinely participate. However, for the unmarried or religious person, any unlawful relationship they decide to engage in can’t be lived in the open. They become objects of ridicule if they attempt it.

The married isn’t left out either since a lawfully married person who attempts another marriage could be prosecuted for bigamy in our country’s law or the partner could file for divorce ( depending on their religious affiliation).

But in all, the most severe is the abomination against God.  For those who will treat the God-effect as trivial and still advance this course the ff usually happens:

1. Emotional & psychological instability

2. Financial crises- having to pay or settle people.

3. Imprecation and curses by those who think they have been misled.

4. Refund of all things bought and received.

5. Suicide and death if they can’t stand the shame or guilt.

We were created to love and there is no way we can’t express it. It’s challenging though but let’s remember that if genuine love among humans was impossible God wouldn’t have demanded it from us.

I guess recently you might have seen or read about a message purported to have been written by guy who claimed to be a priest that many a priest or religious might be engaged in one amorous relationship with different categories of people.

There are many people we don’t know who are patiently living out this great virtue- LOVE without any strings attached.

We all can and must love genuinely. Let’s not allow the world to dictate wrongly for us. Love transcends Sex- God’s love for us has got nothing to do with sex. It’s rather being available and giving oneself to another without demands.

Many people come to us with clear minds and open hearts so let’s meet them with the same intention and create relationships that will last, relationships we wouldn’t regret. Relationships that wouldn’t strip us of lovely beings we were created to be.

Save a friend with this!! Stay blessed as you try to LIVE LOVE!!!

By Rev. Fr. Louis Cecilia Adu-Poku


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